The Light That Shines Through Me: Tiriq Rashad on Grief, Family, and Spoken Word

Some stories are written in ink. Others are written in loss, love, and everything that comes after. 

Today’s guest is Tiriq Rashad, spoken word artist, whose life has been shaped by the grief of losing his daughter, brother, and mother, and by the courage to transform that pain into poetry, music, and meaning. Through his books Shine Through Our Shade and A Diamond in God’s Dirt, and now his new album Kiss My Art, Tiriq invites us into the alchemy of survival where art becomes a way home to ourselves.

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Watch video version here

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Together, Nina and Tiriq explore the unpolished, raw realities of grieving: the trauma that lingers, the relief of finally speaking your truth, the grounding power of therapy, and the courage it takes to show up vulnerable. Tiriq shares how grief propelled him toward expression, how strength can emerge through vulnerability, and how poetry, music, and storytelling became a space where love and pain coexist.

This conversation reminds us that grief doesn’t need to be fixed, it needs to be witnessed. Through Tiriq’s story, we’re invited to lean into connection, share what hurts, and trust that creative expression can guide us back to ourselves, one honest moment at a time.

Key Takeaways

• Art becomes a way to return to ourselves and rediscover meaning after loss.
• Vulnerability is essential in expressing and navigating grief.
• Every loss carries a distinct trauma and teaches us something different.
• Honoring loved ones through creativity can be deeply healing.
• Therapy provides tools, grounding, and perspective during the grieving process.
• Acceptance isn’t passive. It’s an active part of moving forward with grief.
• People “wear” grief differently; there is no right way to grieve.
• Connection and community are crucial in the healing journey.
• Sharing our stories can inspire courage and connection in others.
• Self-tending is necessary to sustain ourselves through grief.

Guest: Tiriq Rashad

• Gramy Considered Spoken Word Artist
• tiriqrashad.com
• Watch Tiriq's TEDx Talk
• @tiriq_rashad

Hosted by: Nina Rodriguez

• Creator of Grief and Light, Grief Guide
• griefandlight.com
• @griefandlight
• Resting Grief Face on Substack

Grief Support Resources for the Road:

• Grief Tending Toolkit
• Access our online community

Chapters

• 0:00 Preview & Intro Song
• 0:47 Grief, Creativity and Spoken Word
• 4:55 Losing a brother, daughter, and mother
• 6:31 On losing his brother
• 10:55 The grief of losing their first daughter
• 15:31 The unexpected loss of his mother
• 18:35 Navigating Grief and Healing
• 25:15 The Role of Therapy in Healing
• 27:15 "I'm not the only one grieving"
• 29:37 Knowing when to seek help
• 35:00 How you 'wear' your grief
• 39:00 Kiss my Art
• 42:01 Connect with Tiriq
• 42:53 Words of wisdom for navigating life after loss
• 44:28 Supporting your spouse in grief
• 48:25 Gratitude, Creativity and Healing
• 50:39 Tiriq's advice

Transcript

I hold on to the beautiful memories I have of my mom. Her last breaths on earth was an act of love, an act of care, know, an act of service to someone that she didn't know. But that kind of sums up who my mother was, caring for people. And it goes back to me talking about my brother living through me. Me, my mom, and my brother are like interconnected in that way. My dad is the same way. It just helped because that's the right thing to do. And that's what she did in her last breath. Like she...

took it upon herself to go and help somebody who was in need of help. You just lost your loved one. Now what? Welcome to the Grief in Life podcast, where we explore this new reality through grief-colored lenses. Openly, authentically, I'm your host, Nina Rodriguez. Let's get started. Some stories are written in ink, and others are written in love, loss, and everything that comes after. Today's guest is Tiriq Rashad.

whose story is one of those shaped by the grief of losing his daughter, brother, and mother. And also by the courage to turn that pain into poetry, music, and meaning. Through his books, Shine Through Our Shade and Diamond in God's Dirt, and now his new album, Kiss My Art, Tiriq invites us into the alchemy of survival, where art becomes a way to come back home to ourselves. Tiriq, welcome to Grief and Light.

Wow, thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you for having me. That's a beautiful intro. And it sums up like where I'm at in my life right now. So thank you. It's an absolute honor to have you here today and to share more about your story and current work in the grief space. And congratulations. We have the time that we're recording this. is October, 2025. And this is a big month for you for many reasons. So I want to congratulate you on the launch of your album, which

just released, I believe, last week, right? Yes, last Friday. Yep. Last Friday. How are you feeling about that today? I'm excited. I'm independent, so it's a lot of work that goes into it. And Rodney knows working with me and everything. But the work really starts now after the release. A lot of work starts before, but it's even more work now just trying to get the album out there and everything. But I'm excited. And I'm truly excited to start performing these songs. I can't wait to get on the stage and really start to.

It's different, like, just me talking and doing interviews than me actually being on the stage and truly connecting with people with the music and obviously the lyrics and the band and everything like that. So I'm truly excited and I'm grateful. And honestly, I'm proud of this body of work that I put together because it wasn't easy to put it together. I have a lot of emotions, but they're all good, honestly. So, yeah. Yeah. These moments bring everything all at once. You say you're excited to get on stage. there, it's not your first time on a stage.

I've also seen your Ted Talks, you know, not just the performance, but also, you know, that gift you have with spoken word. what is it about that connection that is felt like the right venue for you? Because some people, for example, choose to write or to do some other forms of art. What is it about spoken word that resonates with who you are? Expression. I write, so writing goes along with my spoken word. So when I write,

I write it in a way where I'm going to actually perform it and express it in that way. And all of my writing, all of the works that you just said is just me being honest and vulnerable, to be honest. So my vulnerability and just being transparent with my journey and where I'm at at that given time, it just brings everything all together when writing and then going to go and perform it. So like when I did my TEDx, that was me being vulnerable. I was telling my story where I was at.

at that point in my life. I just love the process of creating and putting something together. In spite of, you know, the hardships, I have to get to a point of creating because depending on the circumstances, I'll be in like really dark places, if you may. So I have to get through that. But the process is so, it's beautiful. It's beautiful to be able to put something together that's dope. And then send the finished product.

The icing on top is connecting with people. You know what I mean? My background is social work and caring for people. I always want to be able to help and connect with people and motivate and inspire them. So that's rewarding. It's very rewarding, honestly. That's the beauty of it, being able to connect with people after putting something out, performing and reading and all of my creative ventures. Like it's a beautiful thing to be able to have my work resonate with people.

Absolutely. I imagine it's a very powerful feeling. And you just mentioned about having experienced some darkness in your life, which I'm assuming is tied to the grief and the loss of your loved ones. But before we go there, what was your relationship with grief, if any, prior to the loss of your loved ones? So obviously, like growing up in Atlantic City, like I have friends who, you know, I've lost to violence and...

senseless things around the way. So those things always tug at your heart. But when there's someone close to you, it's at different level. But my relationship has just kind of been like, I guess, like anybody else who was just kind of like, that was my friend. feel bad and you show up and you show love and then you just continue on with your life. So that's how it was prior to losing people closest to me. Now, diving into the people that was closest to me is just a deeper level.

obviously of grief and you feel like you lost a part of you. But just to answer your question, that was my relationship prior to my close relationships with my screen. appreciate your perspective and it's one of those things where you don't get it until you get it. And it's somebody that, like you said, it almost feels like they were ripped from you. It's beyond just, oh, I'm sad and this is really hard. It's a part of you that goes with them as well. Absolutely. Yeah. And I'm so sorry you lost your

daughter, your brother, and your mother. Those are major, major losses. start with the one that you feel like sharing first and how did each of those shape the way that you see life now? So the first one I'll talk about, I'd sell them in order. So my first one was my brother, my sibling, you know, so, and my brother has cerebral palsy and autism.

So he passed away. I was actually on vacation and I got the call when I was on vacation. It was like the worst vacation ever I've ever had. My brother, he's older than me, but I've taken care of him my entire life. So the work that I do and me caring for people and loving on people and being an empath and everything, it comes from him because I was doing those things since I was about seven.

eight years old, helping my parents out, my parents working doing this, that, and the third. And then it's me, my oldest brother, and the rest of my siblings. they kind of, not kind of, they gave me the responsibility of hold the fort down while we're doing this, that, and the third. So, you know, I was gifted, if you may, those kinds of responsibilities. And my oldest brother, just since I was younger, he just helped me to be honestly the person that I am today, so.

losing him the way that we lost him. And he lost, he had a seizure and then he wound up not coming out of it. It was bad. And he wound up going into the hospital and he didn't come back. I had just finished grad school and everything. So all my work and everything up to that point revolved around my brother. So like when I lost him, again, as I previously mentioned, that was just like a part of me was taken too.

And I was torn, obviously. You know, I was able to, actually I wrote a poem. Once I got to a certain space, I was able to write a poem and just kind of honor him through that. And I'll continue to honor him with all of the work that I do. So then. And if I may, thank you for sharing about your brother. There is a phrase that you use in your TEDx talk that I've resonated with so much. said, he is the light that shines.

through me. And I felt that I'm getting chills as I say that because it's such a powerful phrase and so much of, for example, I imagine the work you do and certainly the work that I do is because of that. He is a light that shines through me. And if you could just expand a little bit on what you meant by that in your own words and how you carry his love light forward. My brother lives through me. And I think when we do things when we're younger, we don't...

We're just kind of just going through the motions. But as we get older and mature and start to really reflect upon our life, where we are and reflect on our life growing up, I think we start to understand it. And when I wrote that piece and I performed the piece on stage, the Tadak stage, honestly, he was the light that I needed that specific day because I was a nervous wreck. And I truly was, but.

In all honesty and all jokes aside, like my brother has grounded me to be the caring, humble, loving person that I am. Like I truly, he truly lives through me to be able to care for people who I have no idea about. Like, and that's what my TEDx talk was about as well. Just going out there to help someone that you have no idea about, you know? And just having that heart and that, that courage and that care.

to want to be able to just say, listen, I'ma just put myself out there and I'ma just help this person because I know it's right. You know what I mean? I know it's right to help this person. I might not know how to go about this or how to go about that, but I know this person is in need. So just put myself out there to help. And I think my brother has shined through me and allowed my light to on other people regarding just helping them. You know what I mean? So that light is him, but that light is also the help.

that I've given him that he encourages me moving forward to help other people. And when you say he encourages me, it sounds like he's very much still alive in your life in some ways. Would you say that's accurate? And also with your daughter and your mother, I imagine. Absolutely. A thousand percent. And then just my daughter, was, I have three kids now. I would have four, but we lost our first daughter. It was an abruption. And my

My was about, she ate months. It was the scariest. And this was what, two and a half years removed from my brother. So the abruption happened and it was just one minute my wife, everything was going well. And then the next minute she was on the floor, like her stomach hurts and everything. And I'm like, what the, like what's going on?

And we had to rush down to her primary care doctor. went there and they said they couldn't detect the heartbeat. So I'm like, no, that doesn't sound good. And this was during COVID too. So it was right, it was during COVID. So that was even, you know, a whole lot even going on with that. So I couldn't go up there. couldn't walk up there. I couldn't do none of that. So then they told us to go to the hospital. We rushed to the hospital. And when we got to the hospital, that was a whole...

Long story short, I wound up getting into the hospital because there was a whole issue with them allowing me, but circumstances. So I was able to go into the hospital and then they basically said that the baby had passed, but my wife still had, they still had to do the C-section and everything and take the baby out. It was the most.

traumatizing just for me because I can't imagine how my wife felt and feels losing something and someone that was physically connected to her. But I was right there with her along the way, which I'm so very grateful that I was able to be there for her. Because I also thought about the people who go through that, the women who go through that who don't have any. And they're just going through that by themselves. So I was just grateful also that I was there, but I almost lost her.

along with our daughter because she lost so much blood and it was just, it was madness. And they wound up saying that it was an abruption and to this day we don't know like what went wrong, what, you know, so moving forward that also traumatized my wife, which is a whole nother conversation because it's like, well, I don't want to do this. I don't, and we had three kids after that. So it was still traumatizing that played in the back of our head. Every time we got pregnant, she was about to give birth because it's like, well,

Am I going to have another eruption? Is this going to happen? Is that going to happen? So it was anxiety all over the place, anxious, traumatic, et cetera. Understandable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was tough as well. That was our first child. We wanted the girl. We got the girl, but we wound up having to bury her in different things like that. I'm so sorry.

We are also in October is also Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. So it's one of those things. Yeah. It's, I'm so sorry for your wife. My heart goes out to her as well, obviously for yourself and your family, because it's it's a, it's a loss that everybody experiences quite differently. And that sounds very traumatic. So that's also layers and layers. Thank you for sharing. I didn't know that it was that month. I know it's different days and different months with everything, but I didn't know that.

But thank you for telling me that, thank you for that. It was tough, it was a very tough time. And it took us time together. And even when I felt like I was better, or if I was getting better, my wife was still in the space. So I had to put my stuff aside to make sure that, not make sure, but just to comfort her because it was nothing I could have said or done.

to make her feel better because it was just a physical connection that she had with the child that no one else could say anything to or about. So it was just, it was a tough time. But then we were able to get through that. And then we were able to get pregnant, I want to say like a year later, which we had our first son. And my first son is four years old now. Wild, I had some wild kids.

My first son, he was actually born a day after my mom's birthday. So my mom's birthday is June 15th, my son's is June 16th. So she was able to come and meet him and three weeks after his birth, that's when everything happened with my mom and she passed. Yeah, so we never got a chance, you know? But she was in an accident, a car accident where a car was flipped over on the side of the road in Atlantic City.

driving into Atlantic City was her and my father. They saw a car flipped over on the side of the road. My mom and my dad pulled over on the other side. They got out of the vehicle to pull the lady out of the car, because the car was flipped over and it was smoking. They pulled her out to safety. And then another car came and hit my mom. I am so sorry. died on the scene. So that, you know, I still deal with it today, obviously.

If I see an accident, I'll just like cringe. It's just like traumatic. I hold on to the memories, the beautiful memories I have of my mom and even her last breaths on earth. And her last was an act of love and an act of care, know, an act of service to someone that she didn't know. She didn't know from a can of paint, but that sums up who my mother was, just like caring for people. And it goes back to me talking about me helping my brother and.

My brother living through me and helping people not like me and me, my mom and my brother are like kind of intertwined, interconnected in that way. And she just helped. And my dad is the same way. Like, it just helped because that's the right thing to do. That's what she did in her last breath. Like, she took it upon herself to go and help somebody who was in need of help. And then obviously her untimely demise due to that, so.

Yeah. Thank you for sharing. And I'm so sorry. It sounds like each one carried its own, you know, amount of trauma and suddenness in a way, just this sense of unexpected, right? Like that adds layers because not all grief is traumatic, but all traumatic experiences carry a lot of grief and layers that you have to navigate. like you said, you're

You see an accident and your body kind of senses it probably before even your mind is aware of what's happening. So I'm so sorry. And I always like saying their name, but if it's helpful to you, would it be okay if you shared their names? All three of them, Teresa, my mom, Hakeem, my brother, and Elory, my daughter. Yeah. Thank you. And we honor them through these conversations and through saying their name and sharing their love. Your mom also sounds amazing.

We get to hear her voice in one of the songs. So I believe it's No Regrets from your new album. What made you decide to include her in that way? It was a part of my healing, to be honest. The whole project is a part of my healing. Paying it forward as well, because I know, as I mentioned earlier, a lot of people are going to connect to it because I'm not the only one who loses someone in grief. But adding my mom to it was just a part of my process of grieving.

And throughout my process of creating the song, I just started reflecting upon my life and all of the things that I've been through with my mom, good and bad, peaks and valleys, all of those things. And I was just going down a list, like listening to, you know, you lose somebody, you listen to voicemails, you look at messages. I was just listening to all of these voicemails, crying, laughing, crying some more, laughing some more.

feeling mad about this, feeling sad about that, all of those emotions. And I came to that voicemail and I just kept playing it, playing it, playing it. And then once I got to a space, I was like, I'm gonna use this. I don't know how. Fast forward to me writing a poem, I said, I'm gonna put this on the song. And then that's kind of how you got no regrets. Yeah. But it was just a part of my healing and just, I don't want to say hearing her voice.

one last time, because I'm going play it regardless. just, I guess, amplifying her voice to everybody else so everybody else understands.

how difficult it was and is at certain points in my life to move forward, but also the importance, how significant she was in my life. Obviously as my mom, but everybody's relationship with that mom is different, but it just shows people how important she was to me and how we're still connected even to this day. Absolutely. I really do believe in that in her voice.

She transmits so much love and just tenderness, so much warmth. You could feel that part of her essence through even just the beginning of the song. It's beautiful. So thank you for- Thank you so much. Thank you. And there's a backstory to that voicemail because, and I haven't shared this actually. So that voicemail, that was during COVID and I actually caught COVID. I caught COVID from my cousin. I thought it was over for me.

It was terrifying. I was down bad. I was down bad. that voicemail was my mom, sounding like a very concerned mother, as you're hearing the voicemail, just checking on you, I love you, da da da da. So that's kind of like the backstory, like why she left the voicemail, just checking on me to make sure that I was okay. And that's always, it's always been like that my entire life. But I felt, well, I know for a fact, as we got older, my mom became more loving.

more caring, like even more, but outwardly because my mom showed love and her care in so many different ways and whatnot. But I think she verbalized her love and her care for us as we got older. And that was just an example of that. That's a beautiful example. And I would imagine your process has been different with each loss. I'm curious if something with each loss unearthed

things you were not expecting from previous losses. know, like sometimes it tends to bring up a lot that we either weren't expecting or we thought we had already dealt with. So what could you share about how each loss impacts how you've dealt with grief with the previous losses and how you continue to deal with your own healing process? That's a great question.

So it's weird because each one, and you actually brought it to my attention. Obviously I know, but like each one was traumatic. Like it just kind of just suddenly happened, right? And each sudden incident, I was at literally at different places in my life. Like when I lost my brother, I was on vacation. Like we were in Cuba. And then with my daughter, we were in COVID. And then

with my mom, we were celebrating. I just had my son. So these are all literally just different places in my life, different times in my life. so my process of grieving each time, I was just mentally in a different place. But I will say, ultimately, just reflecting right now, I always got back to creating.

and writing about my grief. So I think that, well, I know for a fact that's my common theme. You know, when I go through something, I have to express myself. And sometimes, like, I might express myself to someone, but sometimes I might not feel like I have someone to talk to. So I'll turn to my notebook or my phone with my notes and I'll start writing how I feel. And I'll put a poem together or put a TED talk together or whatever. I just put something together.

So I always leaned on expression throughout each loss. And that's kind of been a common theme throughout my life. Like when I'm going through things, I will write, I will write, I will write, and I will express myself that way. The difference with losing my mom versus the other ones was that when I lost her, I made a conscious effort not to lean on any vices. You know what I mean? You know, a lot of us lean on vices, whether it be liquor, weed, whatever.

intentionally said, nope, you're not doing it regardless of how difficult it is. You're going to deal with what you have to deal with and sit in your misery, your regrets, your hardship, your grief, whatever. You're going to sit in it and just kind of figure it out. And that wasn't easy to do, but I knew if I leaned on anything, I was just going to numb it. And then I was just a temporary fix. And then I was going to have to deal with it whenever I got over him.

leaning on vices, but I wanted to face it on. I wanted to embrace it. I really did. Because I, again, I just had a son. It was like the most beautiful time of my life, but also the worst time in my life. So it was like, well, what? Tariq, you still have life to live. Your son, you just, you you and your wife who just lost a kid, you actually just brought a kid into the world. So like.

It was just me balancing it all, but embracing it all, good and bad, or worse and the greatest blessing of it all. It was me embracing it all and just saying like, listen, I can't lean on anything. I got to face it all. And I have to enjoy my life as difficult as that was to do at that time. What did that look like at that time, balancing the grief and the Therapy. I started going to therapy.

therapy kind of helped, it helped with my process of grief, honestly, which honestly helped me to start creating again as well. And I think I also was teaching during the time too. I was an adjunct professor at Monmouth University too, so I was doing a lot. I guess you can call that advice too, but we try to busy ourselves up.

You know, we try to make ourselves busy. lot of people deal with it that way, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I guess you can call it a vice. I don't know. Or avoidance, I don't know. But it's something that people lean on to try not to deal with, not to face it. I was doing a lot outside of my grief, but I also was doing the work internally, which again, I was going to therapy. And I stumbled across this therapist who truly helped me along the way. I'm thankful for her.

Because at that time I needed it, I really did. Because I was getting in a dark, dark place and I didn't want to be in that place. We just brought our son into the world. Me and my wife had got married a few years before. Like, it was just so many beautiful things that was going on in my life. And obviously this is the worst thing, know, worst experience I've ever had. I'm like, all right, I lost my mom. Like, I gotta accept it, you know? And...

If I wasn't accepting of it, I was not gonna be able to move forward. So I accepted it, and then I was able to go to therapy and start moving forward. But it took me some time to accept it, which is pre-therapy. And my wife, she encouraged me to go as well. And I was kind of motivated to go myself because I just had so many other things and have so many other things to do, which brings me to where I'm at today, just sharing the story about all of these things and.

encouraging other people and reminding other people that they're not alone. Like, I'm not the only one grieving. And also that was another thing which allowed my grief to go a little smoother was that I thought of my dad. I thought of my dad because a lot of people just kind of like, I'm dealing with this, I'm dealing with that. You know, it's kind of like a self-centered thing. And my dad got pushed to the side, right? Everybody's just kind of figuring themselves out, right? And I'm like, my dad, that's his wife.

My dad and my mom were married 30 something years. And he was on the scene when everything happened. You know what I mean? So like your partner who you've built everything with, you know, I started thinking of my dad like, okay, Tariq you lost your mom, right? And it's difficult, but my dad lost his wife, his partner, his partner in crime, whatever, he lost her. So that kind of...

helped me as well because it was that perspective like, all right, I'm grieving, it's difficult for me, but imagine how it is for my dad. Even to this day, he's never talked to me about it. But I know my dad, he started going to therapy too, but I just started looking at other things and looking at this whole me losing my mind from a different angle versus Tariq is grieving. I started looking outside of myself. I don't just, I'm not self-centered. I look outside, I'm selfless.

So I look outside of just me and things that I got going on because I know it's not just about me. So I started calling my dad. Like I never called my dad as much. Because I call my dad now, I wasn't calling him before as much, before my mom passed away. I wasn't calling him a lot. I would call him, check on him, but I would just call my mom. I would talk to my mom three, four, five times a day. Or she would call me or I would call her. Sometimes I ignore her calls. Like I just talk to her.

those same calls, I'm doing that with my dad now because I know he needs that love. So I just started looking at things from a different lens to also help me with my grief. Thank you for sharing that. And that perspective is so key in helping us, like you said, see outside of ourselves, but it's not easy, know, especially when we're feeling in the grips of those early days, like right the shock and that year first and.

moving through all the beautiful parts like you just had your son and also this incredible life altering loss. Yes. And I mean, you talk about therapy openly, which I completely appreciate and I am all for and how you thought outside of yourself. But these are things that don't seem to come naturally to a lot of people. Is this something that was innate in Tiriq? Like, is this something that Tiriq has always been like this? Or is it something that maybe your background with social work also helped influence?

Or was it something that was born out of the need to say, hey, this is heavier than most life experiences. This requires a little support that a lot more support than usual. So I'll say my therapy has always been writing, right? And it's still my therapy, you know, but at this time, my wife encouraged me to go. I had it in my mind to go, but I was like, I'm good. But as I felt myself getting more in a angry.

you know, that space, I was just like, I need to do something else. And also at this time, like, I don't want to say trendy, but therapy started becoming like trendy. It started becoming trendy for men, not for average, for men to say, it's okay for men to go to therapy and this, that, and the third. And I don't go off a trend or nothing like that, but I just knew like it was, it was in my spirit. If something is tickling my spirit, telling me to do it.

I usually do it and something was telling me to go along with the encouragement from my wife. You should probably go and just try it and see how it is. And that's not easy either because I thank God that I was able to stumble across the right therapist the first time because it doesn't happen like that. know therapy is like trial and error. know sometimes it takes three, four therapists for you to find the right therapist. I was able to find the right therapist from the very first...

email message that I sent over and it wasn't always a thing. Like my therapy was just creation, creating poetry and writing and talking about my feelings that way. I always wore my heart on my sleeve. still do. So I just express myself. I always express myself. Now I'm in a place where I look outside of myself a whole lot more because I know I'm not the only one who expresses themselves in these ways or that way or doesn't express themselves at all.

I had a kid the other day, because I've built really strong relationships with the kids over the years, working in schools. my colleague, he reached out to me through Instagram and said that this kid saw my work and he wants me to follow him. So I followed them and then I DM'd him. And I was asking my colleague, what's going on with him? And he said that the kid was, all of these things.

And he was like, I think you're the perfect person to talk to and to read. So I was like, okay. So I followed him and I reached out to him and he was saying like, he loved my poetry and he wants to learn how to do poetry to express himself. And I just jumped right on in and just started like, but it it felt good to me because I'm like, okay, this is connecting. And I know it's connecting, but it's connecting with the people that I needed to connect with. And just being able to help him.

and I'm gonna continue to help them. It's a beautiful thing, it really is. It's a beautiful thing to just be able to help somebody and help them to be seen because we all, to a certain degree, we wanna be seen. Sometimes our hardships block us from being seen because we're so deep in our hardships and grief and everything else and suicidal thoughts or whatever that we're not seeing. And when somebody sees you,

And the work that I do, I see my kids. I see my kids, I see people for who they are without judgment and I help them. And that's what I'm doing with my art, my journey, sharing my story, letting people know like this is my story, but it's also your story as well. I wanna help you tell your story, do my story or vice versa. So, yeah. No, thank you. And that is the power of this work. is.

a witnessing of your own grief and also an ICU of their person who may be struggling with the same thing. And suicidal ideation and grief is something that is not talked about enough. More often than not, I would argue that it's the longing to be with your person again, the whole like, cannot believe this is it. There's a finality to it. The permanency of it is, you know, something that I personally six years later still struggle with it because it's like, what do you mean they're not coming back? Like, what do

Where did they go, right? So the mind struggles over time to accept that. also, if, you know, since we touched on it, if somebody is struggling with suicidal ideation, by all means, seek help. Like, do not wait. This is something that should be addressed, even if you're not sure if it's just the longing or this. While you figure it out, it's better to seek help and be in company and listen to beautiful work like...

Tiriq's work that it speaks to the experience and speaks directly to the heart of each person, which is really important. And since you've experienced very sudden shifts that it's literally here today, gone the next moment, like that is a jarring and traumatic experience like we discussed earlier. What would you say to somebody who maybe is newly bereaved, they lost their loved one very suddenly, maybe even tragically?

What would you say to that person from your current perspective? It's a process to getting to the other side and feeling okay. You're going to have moments. Everybody's process is different, right? Everybody's process is different, but I will encourage people to just face it. But the first step is accepting, and you have to accept it as difficult.

as that may be, you have to accept it. Because if you don't accept it, you are truly going, and we grieve forever, right? But I've been saying, it's how you wear your grief. It's how you wear your grief. And for me, how I wear my grief is just holding on to the beautiful memories that I had with the people that I lost. That's what allows me to continue to move forward. So I would encourage people to do that. And again, just accept it.

if you need therapy, which you probably do. Go to therapy, know that.

You might not find the right therapist that first time, but don't think that all therapy is trash because you didn't find the perfect therapist the first time. It takes time. It's like people going to church. Some people will go to church and be like, I didn't like that church. All church is trash. Like, no, that's not. That church wasn't for you. That therapist might not be for you and that's okay, but keep trying.

Keep trying till you find the right therapist. You have to accept and embrace where you are. And that's been my process, just embracing where you are. also it's okay to cry, cry it out. Be vulnerable, let your emotions out. I took time, I took time for myself to just cry it out because sometimes we get numb. Like did this just happen? Like you just said, where did this person go? Why, what happened?

And it's okay to have questions. Like I had many questions. To a certain degree, I still have questions like, Like, why isn't my mom here? But, you know, again, it's just acceptance. I think that's the biggest part. Like you have to accept the loss because as difficult as it is, and as difficult as it is to accept this person's not coming back. This person's not coming back in the physical.

and we have to move forward with those memories. So hold on to those beautiful memories and accept that this person is gone and move forward with beautiful memories that will allow you to just continue to push forward. And if you have a family, for me, my family, they mean everything to me. It was my responsibility to take care of myself because my kids, kids absorb everything. We know that. Kids absorb, they feel energy.

My wife, feels energy. If I'm not good, like everything is gonna be up in shambles. So I have to take care of myself for myself, but also because I have a family that I want to enjoy. So I think, you know, when you have a family, I don't want to say it makes it easier, but you look to your left and right, your family's there. So it's like, all right, I got to take care of myself. I can't just be walking around moping, sad, hurt up, et cetera, et cetera. I got to wear my grief differently, you know, so.

Yes, that's what I like that I gotta wear my grief differently and that perspective shift is so important and if you don't have a family But you have pets let it be, you know, literally getting up to take them out If you don't have pets, let it be a plant let it be whatever gets you up that next day because it can be really difficult and that connection with your surroundings with your life with your people is is key so thank you for thank you for sharing that and in your album

Kiss My Art, what do you hope listeners get from it? You share so much wisdom about obviously your writing, your creative spirit, your expression, your processing, but what do you hope listeners get from it? I hope that they get some inspiration, motivation, encouragement. This is my journey, my story, but I'm also telling somebody else's journey and somebody else's story. So obviously I want it to resonate, but I want...

to encourage people to take care of themselves along the way and really do the work to take care of themselves because there's a lot of work that is put into being the best version of yourself. We're gonna have hardships, we're gonna have peaks and valleys and things like that, but it's a matter of embracing it all. You have to embrace it all and accept it all. And if you don't like where you are, you find ways, left, right, out, whatever.

Find a way to get to that other side. That's what I'm encouraging with this project. I'm just being super vulnerable, creative, obviously, and just sharing my story. And I want other people to just be inspired by it and to connect with it in ways that tells them, like, hey, you can do it as well. You could create something beautiful, inspiring, motivating.

by just sharing your story and just being honest and true to who you are. There's a lot going on in the world. It's a lot for us to conform to and things like that, but just be yourself. Truly just be yourself. Be honest with your story. Tell your story honestly. Be vulnerable with it. Express yourself and just be true to who you are. That's kinda it, you know? And this is a beautiful body of work. It really is. And I know it's going to connect with so many other people.

and I'm excited for where it's going to go. Absolutely. if I may, I don't know if I mentioned this earlier, but your work is being considered for a Grammy, which is no small feat. Congratulations to that. Thank you. Thank Thank you. Thank you. I'm super blessed and grateful for that. my EP, When the Heart Speaks, which was the prelude to my album, Kiss My Heart, that's the project that's being considered.

So I'm super, super blessed and grateful, thankful to so many people that have supported me. Obviously Rodney and everybody else who supported me on this journey. So like for those Academy members who may be tuning in to Grief and Light podcast, please vote for us to turn this consideration into a nomination. Just so I can just help amplify my voice and obviously.

take it to another level as far as just being able to connect and write beautiful stories moving forward. But yes, it is being considered. My project is being considered for a Grammy, so I'm super blessed and grateful for that. More of this, please. And if people wanted to connect with your work, and of course we will link it in the show notes, if people wanted to connect with you and your work, how can they do that? My website, TariqRashad.com.

All of my information is on there, my album. I'm independent, so you'll be able to find my album on my website. Or you can go to Bandcamp, where all of my music is. I have merch on there as well. But as soon as you go to my website, you'll be able to find my music, where you can just click the link and then you'll find the music on Bandcamp and merch and everything else. And you can follow me on Instagram, Tariq, underscore Rashad.

where I give updates on interviews and future performances, announcements, and so many other beautiful things to come. So, yes. Like I said, that will be definitely in the show notes for easy access. So check that out wherever you're watching or listening. And what would you want your kids to know about life after loss resilience, about how you navigate the reality of life?

Just whatever comes up for you today.

Faith, faith, and I think you said it, resilience, time, putting in the hard work. I think all of those things together will propel you to move forward. the values that I'm instilling within my children now are those things. And I have small babies, but again, they absorb everything. So those are...

four things just right off the top, because it takes time. Like, it doesn't just happen overnight. I didn't just wake up and say, hey, I'm brand new consider. I got this, no, it takes time. and sometimes, sadly, we have to go through these difficult situations to build up character, to build up being our better selves. I think doing the work on and for yourself.

And showing that resilience to get to the other side will allow us to blossom into the people that we're supposed to be and that we're meant to be. think they will appreciate that and maybe we'll save this clip for them later on when they get a little bit older, although I'm sure your example and your wife's example is plenty. And also you mentioned your wife and how she's experienced so much of this with you, endured and also been such a pillar, it sounds like.

What can you, know, grief and loss can be horrible for relationships and very challenging. So you, you've navigated, sounds like pretty well, I would say, in the greater picture. What would you say to somebody experiencing grief within the context of their marriage? that is tough. Just being there for each other. I'm sure just one last thing, like we lost her father last year. Yeah.

And so we're grieving all over again with that. So just being there for each other. My wife didn't always have the words for me. So just a hug, a kiss, you know, just honestly, you never know how much it means or how much it means for your partner to just be there. You know, just be there. Like, you know what I mean? You don't have to say nothing. You know, sometimes I might want you to say something. Sometimes I don't want you to say nothing to me. Just leave me alone.

but be here with me. You know what I mean? So, and that's vice versa. Like, you know what I mean? So just be there, be present because it's not always going to be like, I don't want to talk. It's just going to be times where my partner or I do want to talk. So just being present, honestly, I think just being present allows the grief, I guess, to let my partner, to let you know that you're not in it alone. You're not there by yourself. Obviously you're grieving.

But we're not grieving alone because my mom was her mother-in-law. My father is my father-in-law. So we grieve. It's just different kinds of grief because that's her parent and it's my parent. But we still lost. So we're just leaning on each other and just being there. Like literally just being present physically. I think that's the most important thing because sometimes you don't want to talk. You just want to just feel like people are here with you. So, yeah.

Can we highlight that part? Yes, absolutely. And it's so, so true. Presence over words, over actions, over all these things, because what do you say to loss? You we want our person back. There is nothing one can do. It's more about being and showing solidarity in that moment and in the work and being willing and able to sit with this person and the work stuff. Yeah. Absolutely. Great advice. Yeah. And it's difficult. It's super difficult because like for me, like I always want to

I wanna say always, cause I know time and place, but like I'll give advice, give advice like, do this, do that, do that. And when it's not hitting, I'm like, well, just take the advice. what are you doing? But I realized like, it's nothing I could say that's gonna help this person go to, and there's nothing that like, and I think I shared on one of my tracks as well. Like, although I went to therapy, it was nothing she could say or really do to help me to.

make the progress that I need to internally. I'm doing the work by just being there and having somebody to just be there so that I can just talk to, but I have to continue to work. know, therapy is like 30 minutes, hour, whatever. I still got to continue to do the work outside of that. It's 23 hours left. So outside of anybody being there to talk to you, just being there, whatever, you still have to do the work yourself and whatever that looks like to you in a positive way, obviously. So yeah.

Absolutely. And there is a sense of responsibility that comes with like, you know, make sure that you keep moving forward. And I like that you used that phrase earlier, keep moving forward, not necessarily moving on. There's like a, that feels like a rupture from everything. Absolutely. And I want to be mindful, we're getting to the end of the hour here, but I do want to give you the floor to share whatever's in your heart that maybe we haven't touched on or something that you feel like adding to this conversation before we conclude. And the floor is yours.

I'm just grateful for all of the love and support and just being able to connect with so many people throughout this journey and this particular project. I'm at a very beautiful place in my life right now. I'm just my family, obviously, but just creatively. I'm in a creative groove right now, if you may. And it's just beautiful to be where I'm at.

And to know that I'm not here alone. Like I'm here because of all of the experiences that I've had to endure. And in addition to that, with all of the support that I've gotten to get me to where I'm at today. So I just want to take this moment to just say thank you. Thank you to everyone that has just helped me to be where I'm at today. Whether it was a text, a call, connection through an interview, Rodney, you Nina with this podcast and all of the hard work that you're doing.

And it's cause this work is not easy. Talking about these things are not easy, but I know for me, and as I was sharing with Rodney, each time I talk about this grief, a part of me heals. A part of me heals. And it might be a small part, but it's like a big puzzle. But like 15,000 pieces. One piece is just healing each time that I have these interviews and have these talks about my loss. So I just want to just thank everybody for just being here with me along the way.

and just support me and again, thank you for doing such rewarding, difficult but rewarding work. So thank I'm sitting here nodding. Thank you so much. And I'm absolutely in agreement. I feel the same way I share your sentiment there that every conversation heals a part of me too. Absolutely. And also we don't know the people that we're touching, like you said, that person who needed your message. So if you're in need of that, that like warm hug to the heart that.

solidarity that I see you, that you're not alone. Please tune in to Tiriq's music, work, poetry, all the things. And we will be supporting you for this. Rami, let's get there. And because it's more of this, please. And as a final question, what would Tiriq today say to Tiriq after the loss of your mother?

Oof. That's a tough one, Nina.

Continue to live.

Continue to Continue to move forward. Continue to honor me and my mom. Continue to honor your mom.

and be gentle with yourself.

Beautifully stated. That's what I would say. Be gentle. Thank you so much Tiriq. It has been an absolute honor. Thank you for being you and all you bring to the world. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. That's it for today's episode. Be sure to subscribe to the Grief and Light podcast. I'd also love to connect with you and hear your thoughts and your stories. Feel free to share them with me via my Instagram page at griefandlight.

or can also visit griefandlight.com for more information and updates. Thank you so much for being here, for being you, and always remember, you are not alone.